This is a well written and moving story. You have my heartfelt sympathies and happy that your husband had you, beside him, right up to the end,

I can totally identify with your experience. My mother passed away in 2015. She was also in a home and also had Alzheimer’s. I agree that by her being in a home accelerated her deterioration. I also wrote numerous letters to Doctors, matrons even a funeral directors. I also had a Doctor who weirdly told me ‘my mother is going ‘die’ upon asking him the reasons for my mother’s frequent mini strokes. I wrote a letter of complaint to the administrators of the hospital but never got a response.

I’ve wrote letters of complaints when they moved my mother from one room to the next. I felt this was a tactic used for patients who were living longer than expected, that is, removing them from their room and placing them in a room they are unaccustomed to, would make them uncomfortable and agitated. I managed to get her placed back into her room. I would complain to the chef about the food prepared — same soft food everyday and not much variation.

Compassion? — I don’t believe this element ever came into any of this. It was more a combination of also ‘bills’ and administration. I don’t believe the nurses and staff cared. Due to cuts in the National Health, they were more worried if and when they are likely to be sacked! The GP’s were always changing so the whole thing was frenetic, to say the least! But I’ve learnt that you have to save significant amount of money when you become elderly if, you want your outcome to be dignified. It would be good if you could give the name of the practice. Thank you for sharing your story.